Couples Therapy

Are you and your partner speaking different languages?

Fighting about the same thing again is exhausting.

What went wrong when everything seemed so right?

Being frustrated that you can’t improve your relationship is normal. But… don’t settle for thinking you’ll lose something you worked so hard to get.

We don’t communicate well.

Most couples communicate clearly through their body language, tone of voice, actions, or lack of action. However, emotions often get in the way of using their words effectively.

Communication is not talking over each other, defending yourself, bullying the other, or constantly agreeing.

Communication involves a lot more than talking – it’s more about listening, observing, and paying attention to what isn’t said but still communicated.

Good communication means remembering your partner is not “the enemy” and getting curious about what is going with them – this person you love with all your heart but maybe not so much in that moment.

Choosing to be right or connected?

As humans, we are wired for connection. From birth, forming close, secure relationships is what we are meant to do.

So, it’s upsetting when you lose the connection with your partner.

When threatened (in the heat of the argument or in the silence that follows), many partners can only see the “rightness” and “wrongness” of the situation.

To move beyond the hurt, both people must value the relationship more than being right.

“Say what? You mean I must agree with them or do what they want?”

No, but you have to be interested in your partner and what makes them happy or supports them. You know, in the same way, you want to be happy and supported.

Perhaps it’s time to seek help reconnecting.

Reconnection takes time.

Couples Therapy helps you learn to reconnect even during the most challenging times.

You may ask, “So, what can we expect in couples counseling? What do we need to save our relationship?”

Both people need to be able to focus on the problem with the relationship (not just the “problem” with their partner). And both must invest in dealing with that problem.

Reconnecting is a learning experience.

My job is to create a safe place for you to explore why the two of you don’t have the relationship that you want – where the disconnects occur, and how to work with them.

In Couples Therapy, you will practice truly communicating with each other as you learn to listen and acknowledge your partner’s understanding and experience. You’ll experience the simple “magic” that follows – how feeling truly heard by your partner makes it possible to in turn, hear them.

Learn and practice!

In therapy, you’ll learn new things about each other and how to relate differently with more respect and curiosity. The good news is you’ll have someone to practice these new skills at home!

With guidance, you’ll learn how to support each other, how to fight differently and fairly.

The outcome depends on you.

It isn’t about changing your partner. It’s about changing how you relate to your partner.

Couples counseling does not guarantee you’ll remain together. You may discover that parting ways is the best outcome.

My role is to help you learn to reconcile your differences, openly communicate, and reconnect.

Wherever the process eventually leads you, I will be there to guide and support you in discovering your individual and collective truths.

Contact me, and let’s work on reconnecting and rekindling your love for each other.